Friday, May 23, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull: ungood

Going in with high hopes is a sure disappointment. Harrison Ford is an old man, he needs to retire already. That Fedora of his needs to be colored so he can become the spokesman of RedHat in his old age, much like the venerable William Shatner is for

Nearly 19 years to the day since the previous movie with Sean Connery, this Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull becomes much too predictable, rehashing already tired jokes and themes, and far too tipped toward the comedic end of the spectrum for my expectations. When I want a comedy I'll go see a comedy.

Harrison Ford just went through the motions on this movie. There may definitely have been more action than previous movies, but the dialog and pacing of this felt rushed, and I didn't feel immersed in the adventure like I remember in previous movies.

Again, it could be my age. Damn, I'm 32 now. Where has the time gone? I wasted it watching this movie. C+ for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.

Monday, May 12, 2008

What Happens in Vegas

Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz pair up in this romantic comedy about getting hitched in Vegas, winning a jackpot, and trying to cut and run with the whole bag of money. Except when they take it to court, Judge Dennis (Whopper) Miller doesn't have any of it. He forces them to go to marriage counseling with Queen Latifah for six months, before they can revisit the issue of divorce.

The two go head to head in an attempt to make married life hell for each other, so that they can get the full bag of money instead of splitting it after six months in a divorce settlement. It gets pretty ugly, of course, as each one tries to one-up the other in silly ploys to push the other out.

I'm a sucker for romantic comedies, so I liked it, but I also went in thinking it wasn't going to be that great either. So don't go in with your hopes up, and they just might be met. This movie gets a B.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Iron Man: starting 2008 summer blockbusters

Iron Man seems to mark the beginning of the 2008 summer blockbusters. This is again based off a comic book series. Totally original. Great special effects and decent story line if you ignore logic. But well, how many movie blockbusters are logical anyway?

So, Robert Downey Jr. is the CEO of Stark Industries, a totally patriotic corporation that builds weapons for the United States. After getting high off his successful demonstration in Afghanistan, his caravan is attacked, ironically by weapons of his own creation. He is captured, and forced to build the same weapon for the terrorists.

He builds an armored suit and jailbreaks out of his cave. Oh, but before then he builds a miniature power reactor the size of two D batteries that can power the armored suit. Impressive. He returns home and refines his design to be smaller and sleeker than his juggernaut in the desert.

The rest is not covered in the trailers, so I won't continue the summary. But it's definitely a great blockbuster in special effects, action, and pyrotechnics. Just try not to reason out the why of the plot lines.

Iron Man: A for special effects and coolness factor. C for physics, logic, and psychoanalysis.