Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Other Boleyn Girl

After a long hiatus, I'm back to writing faux reviews on a blog. Both Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johannson are my faves, so of course I had to see this movie, right? Wrong. Bitches and hoes both of them.

Have to remember that this is a Hollywood Historical, so facts are fudged for maximum melodrama. It's unbelievable how deceitful and scheming Natalie is as she seduces the King of England away from her own sister. "TWIN SISTAH! (inside joke)" No they're not twin sisters. I wouldn't put it past Hollywood to twist it that way though.

King Eric Bana has children with both Scarlette Johansson and Natalie Portman. A boy for Scarlette, and a girl for Natalie.

I admit I didn't pay attention during my European history classes, so it was surprising for me to find out that the resulting offspring of Eric Bana and Natalie Portman was a girl named Elizabeth, who later grows up to become Cate Blanchette.

I don't remember what happened to the boy. BASTARD IN A BASKET.

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